I’ve been born in north-italy. My “family” (i’m unhappy to admit that i know just a little bit of it: i can go only to my grand-grandparents…) have ever been Catholic, even if my parents are something undefinite, something “agnostic”; they gave my the baptism and then left me free of my choices.
Why they did it?
If they don’t believe, why they did it?
They did it because this is the tradition of my blood.
Of my nation.
Of my nature.

I can’t, unfortunately or fortunately, recall a millenary history just like yours so precisely.
I don’t know if in my lineage there was maybe jewish, barbarian, latins, nordics or something else…
But I know the history of my places.

I know i’m born in italy, north italy. I know that maybe i was a Latin, maybe a Longobard. Something like that: so i study my traditions, the traditions of my blood. I study The culture of the europe. I’m european, i guess. But I don’t know: so i study the story of the World: maybe i’ve got something oriental in my blood. Maybe I’ve even got somethng jewish in my blood: so i study jewish language, jewish culture.

I try to make me clear my possible story.
My possible blood’s story.

To get back to my parents: they gave me the baptism. They left me in the tradition where i’ve been born. And I can’t escape.
My mind, the archetipal mind, is surely connected to the mass-mind of my nation, of the religion of my connational.
To The Church, even if i say that i don’t like its story so much.
Even if i feel more connected with oriental spirituality, i can’t escape from my archetipal feelings, my blood.

So i’m trying to understand as much as possible: my story, in some way, depends from your story.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say: just that I think that everybody has to face his own tradition, even if he/she doesn’t like it, because we wasn’t born alone, like monads without contacts, but we was born strictly connected (anatomically and physiologically) to another human beeing and so on.

We all are son of Adam.
We can’t forget our blood.

The millenary story of the “religion” (that i’d rather call “spiritual mood”) that today is more aged (and i’m not thinking to Christianity, but to Indian spirituality) tells us of one natural earth-religion (the religin of siva, dyonisus, passions, tantra, sensuality, yoga, man-god contact, micro-macrocosmo, left, but native, path, matriarcal path), primitive (i.e.. the first “assumed” by men), and one city-religion, nomad, with gerarchy, in which god is man pictured, in which “religio” is “instrumentum regnis”, a sky and far-from-man religion. Story, and documents, teach that this religion is the religion that aryans brought all over the world (from Asia to ancient Greece, and from there to Rome, lefting Egypt that had in itself both kinds in the osyrid (dyonisic), hysid (bondage) and horus (apolliney, civil, men pictured)). A nomad religion in which divinity is a divinity who necessarly has to be like man because it’s needed for the creation of complex civilities with a law.

Christyanism a dyonisical religion (in Christ: Christ is Dyonisus of the christianity, the sacrifice, earthly, that from God became in the lowest man, that is “bread” and “wine” – wine that is also so important for Dyonisus-Siva) that became, with the time, a religion of the second tipology: apollinary, with gerarchies and “human”. In that way God is changed. His dimension is lost because God himself is serving the necessity of the mankind. An example is the Roman attitude: Rome doesn’t fear to tell taht the religion is an “istrumentum regnis”. I believe that this question can be left now.
I believe in the first religion, because it reflects better the human being as a “earthly beeing having in himself earth rithms”, a modus vivendi in harmony with the rest of the “creation”.

And now the question: who’s God?.
Difficult question. Is God Nature? Is God a kind and onnipotent father? Is God an honored and rough father? Is God Anything? Is God the Man? Is God an Alien? Is God an answer? Is God a question? Is God justice? Is God not right? Does God exist? Does God not exist? There IS God?

First point: if God doesn’t exist, the maker of this magical figure is the best genius of the world.
Second point: an a-theus doesn’t have even to question it. An atheistic person can’t speak of God because he hasn’t consciousness of it, he hasn’t the god-thought in his mind. A lot of those who speaks thermselves as atheistic people, are better called “agnostic”, “skeptic”, “unbeliving”, “doubting”, “doesn’t-metter”, but I don’t believe in Atheism. I’m not a “beliver” myself. But this is another topic.
Does God exist? Yes. Why? I’m here. So, i’ll try to explain: the only reality that i found real ever and ever is the one expressed by one of the most important principles of phsyic (and who tells that science and religion aren’t compatible is an ignorant): the energy isn’t created nor destruced, is transforming. From this reality I assume this: if everything is there, is the result of a transformation of what there was yet, and everything will be, will be the result of a transformation that will occur, so there is not start nor an end.
That may be intended as: if there is not start, there is not a starter, so God doesn’t exist. Maybe. But there is something that is in everything, but at the same time isn’t everything: the Energy.
Energy that is in different forms, aspects, that shows itself in different modalities, that grows with certain proprieties, but that is in everything and is made from energy. Result: maybe God is the primigenical Energy from which everything got start, that changed itself and gave birth to a “chain”? Maybe.
Problem: how the first “trasnformation” rised? I think that here is the oldest problem of the world: that is seriously problematic. What are the condictions that gave birth the transformation? Or maybe we could assume that there wasn’t a start. It’s the mythological snake that bite its own tail, The Nietzschyan Time Circolarity. A continuum. Maybe.
Statement: thinking at a theorical life on a bidimensional sheet, how the bidimensional human sees a sphere that pass through that sheet?
He sees it bidimensional too, but in reality the sphere is not, it has another dimension.
Result: maybe the human mind can’t think of nothing different from him. Because he can’t free himself from both biggest lies of Mya: Time and Space.

As you realize that time is only a sweet illusion.
As you realize that 4 years can’t change your feelings.
As you realize that you loved once, and you’ll never be capable to love anyone else.
As you realize that your breath is stil searching her smell, far away, too far away.
As you realize that you love her, still and for good.
As you realize that you are still waiting, in a perfect and frozen time, she arriving, dressed in ivory, there, under a boned gazebo, for having again a hot and steaming tea.
As you realize that every day passed is a wingbeating, that when you read her words, you feel yourself in ‘em. And you know you are in ‘em.
As you realize that you should had fight, but you have surrendered.
As you realize that all you’ve become, you’ve become to reach what you couldn’t understand of her.
As you realize that you don’t exist anymore, since that far day.
As you realize that sorrow doesn’t erase, but amplifies.
As you realize that blood is bubbling tears.
You feel empty.